It all started when I tried to pay for my morning Starbucks only to realise the bank card I had been using was now blocked because I didn’t think to phone the bank when my new PIN wasn’t delivered. This resulted in me having to recite four different addresses to collect some train tickets, multiple trips and phone calls to the bank, a 1 hour frantic search round my room to find something the bank could accept as proof of address and ultimately losing my Spotify Premium account as the method of payment was the aforementioned blocked card.
And so after this irritating series of events and one of my co-workers discovering my first grey hair (I’m 26), I have decided it is time to ramp up my own path of becoming an ‘real adult.’ However during my heightened race to being a fully fledged adult I have come to a certain realisation that began with the below scenario…
Have you ever scrolled through Facebook and seen people that are your age or younger getting married, having babies and buying houses whilst you are sat in your rented house you share with 5 other people eating Linda McCartney sausage rolls for the third day in a row? Well maybe if you discount the sausage rolls I’m sure most of you have. This sends you in to a spiral of self doubt and causes you to wonder why you haven’t yet achieved what the world deems as the three most celebrated stages of being an adult.
But remember just because you haven’t got a ring on your finger, a baby on the way or the keys to your lovely new home doesn’t mean you aren’t learning to be an adult. You are just going through the process in your own unique way, and that’s okay.
For years I didn’t bother to change my address and instead let letters build up at my parents. For months I moved to London and didn’t bother to register with a doctor, secretly hoping that I would never need to go. And much to the dismay of my mum when she reads this, for a long time I didn’t think about the importance of credit ratings and saving for the future. However you will be glad to know (especially my parent’s who no longer have a pile of letter for me in the hall) that I have since got my affairs in order and took a small step towards being more of a grown up.
Sometimes it seems that the small wins in life are overlooked for the grander more ‘life changing’ events such as the three aforementioned rights of passage. However these little things such as having the correct address on all your important accounts, managing to save some money, not going in to your overdraft for a couple of months to successfully dealing with a difficult situation without overreacting are all things that should be celebrated. These are all small achievements during the process of becoming an adult as they are teaching you skills such as; personal organisation, good budgeting and emotional maturity. No matter what the small win is take the time to congratulate yourself because what you have achieved is something and proves that you are doing okay. Whatever you see whilst scrolling through Facebook doesn’t matter because you are doing great and making progress on the weird path to being an adult, even if you have ate the same thing for dinner for days on end.
For me it is also important to remember that those big events don’t measure how successful of an adult you are. That’s not to say that those of my acquaintances and friends all passing these mile stones aren’t spectacular, you are, but sometimes I need to remind myself that some people never get married, some people don’t want or have children and some people never own their own home and they are all successful in their own way. I’m eternally single, not yearning to have children and plan to live in London for a few more years so the seemingly bigger steps in to adulthood won’t happen anytime soon but I’m not unsuccessful as I am making progress in my career and that is my main focus right now.
So to all my fellow ‘small win’ adults join me in starting to congratulate yourself more on these smaller achievements. Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing because at then end of the day you are doing pretty great, and so am I.